The art of not giving a f***

@thatsagoodoneofme

Now this is a lot easier to say than to do, but we all need to learn to care a little less in some capacity. Whether that be taking the plunge and following your dreams or trying to care less about what others think of you, it can help to disengage your brain and just act. Here are a few things I do to try and care a little less.


1. Focus on your happiness not others.
The sooner we learn to be happy and live our lives for ourselves, the sooner we begin to care less. We aren’t put on this planet to constantly please others, and it is completely unachievable to do so. No matter what you do, there will always be someone in the world who isn’t happy or doesn’t like you, and that’s just life. I have always sought gratification from other people, but it rarely made me happy, because more often than not I didn’t get the response I wanted. So, as soon as I started recognising that only I could make myself happy, not the reaction of others, I stopped caring so much about what they thought.


2. Recognise what is actually important.
If we take the time to think about what actually matters and is important to us, we can quickly distinguish what doesn’t matter. For example, my family & friends, work, and running are important to me, so if I’m worrying about someone or something outside of that, it’s a waste of energy, because chances are it doesn’t actually affect me directly. Remembering what is important allows you to separate that which is pointless to worry about.


3. Life is too short to worry.
It sounds cliche, but life is short and we only get one shot at it, so why worry what other people think or what the future may hold when neither is relevant now. Reminding yourself of this can have a major effect on the way you think. If you find your thoughts spiralling, refocus on the shortness of life, and ask yourself if that worry is worth your time or is adding your life in a positive way. If it isn’t, dismiss it.

4. Other people’s actions are outside of your control.
You can only control your own actions, no matter how hard you may try to control those of others. Therefore, you can’t make them stop what they’re doing, so you have to control how you think. If the way they make you feel gets to you, take control of your feelings. The only way to stop that is to stop how you respond to their actions. Once you recognise how little control you have over other people’s behaviour, you will take more responsibility for your reaction. Ultimately, the only way to stop someone making you feel like crap is to change how you react. Only you can stop yourself feeling rubbish.


5. Think how others make you feel.
If you find yourself worrying and caring too much about something, ask yourself how it would make you feel in someone else’s shoes. When I say this, I mean do other people acting in similar ways to you bother you? For example, if you are worrying about whether people will judge what you say, think, if they were to say the same thing, would you care? More often than not, you wouldn’t. I sometimes worry that people think I talk too much about pointless crap, but if I flip it, and ask myself, do I care if others chat rubbish to me? The answer is no! So why am I wasting time worrying.


6. Share your thoughts.
Finally, the most important point in my eyes. Share your thoughts. The only way to care less about things is to share them. It really is true that a problem shared is a problem halved. The quicker you talk to someone else about something, the sooner you stop giving a f***.