You are good enough.

PC: Callum Gillett

The definition of ‘good’ refers to the need ‘to be desired or approved of’ (Oxford Languages, 2021). But why do we feel the need to be seen as ‘good enough’ by other people who are sometimes even strangers? Why do we spend so much of our lives trying to be approved of? What gives other people the right to decide if we are ‘good enough’?

Sustained happiness cannot be guaranteed by others. This is something I have worked hard to recognise and deal with. No one else is in charge of our lives, only we are. Therefore, essentially, we need to please ourselves and be proud of who we are, because only we can guarantee our own happiness. How we perceive ourselves has a significant effect on how we feel within ourselves.

I think running is very powerful in this respect. A lot of runners spend more time on their own than many other people do. I personally do the majority of my running solo, and I have come to love it. I think the act of running alone teaches you to seek happiness from yourself rather than from others as you have spend a lot more time with yourself.

So, how can we step towards believing we are good enough without seeking approval from others?

Step 1: Accepting others will have their opinions

• This is unavoidable. It is simply part of humanity. People love to have an opinion on other people’s lives and their progress. They love to drop in a little comment that they may not even be aware how much it will affect you. These however, are irrelevant to you. We can’t control what others say to us, but we can control what we do with their words. No one else can control how we live or develop, so there is no point paying much much attention to what they say. Allow yourself to listen to what is being said, but stop yourself before the meaning of their words get absorbed by your brain. These people don’t know anything about your circumstances or position in life, so ignore them. Only listen to those who know you and your journey.

Step 2: Trust yourself.

• People may throw comments at you who don’t have your best interests at heart, but this has no direct correlation over how you perform. This is important to remember. We are all on our own journeys and progress at different rates, what is important is to trust yourself. There is no right or wrong journey, and yours will always be different to someone else’s. The only thing we can do is trust ourselves. We know we have put in the hard training, so despite what others say, we must trust our actions. If we believe in our own ability, it doesn’t matter what anyone else says. As long as we do ourselves proud, the opinion of others is irrelevant.

Step 3: Be comfortable in your own skin

• You are who you are, and there is no way to change that. Therefore, the only way to be happy with who you are is to be comfortable in your own skin. It is harder than it sounds, but once we are able to be happy with ourselves, we will realise that no one else is in control of this. If others make you feel uncomfortable for who you are, it usually is because they are uncomfortable themselves. Focus on you and what makes you happy.